Is This You?
Sex is often the last thing on your mind because of other responsibilities. You have a busy schedule, just like many other women. You have certain responsibilities to take care of and this becomes a reason to forget sex or not consider it. Your partner repeatedly shows that he wants to get intimate with you, but you consistently brush him off with one excuse or another. You start making excuses that sound reasonable: You’re too tired for sex, the kids will walk in on you, you have a lot on your mind. You become defensive. You tell him if he worked as hard as you did he wouldn’t want sex either. Besides, didn’t you just have sex a couple of nights ago? Whatever. He’s a sex maniac. He doesn’t want you, he just wants sex and you’re the closest person around. If he just appreciated you more for all the housework you do. Besides, he’s not even that good of a lover.
How can you let go of these negative thoughts and bring sex higher on your priority list?
Is Body Shame Causing Your Low Libido?
Maybe the fear of your partner seeing your body parts you’re ashamed of has compelled you to avoid sex altogether. You keep thinking about the way your thighs looked this morning in the mirror or how your stomach looks when you see it from the side. This paralyzing self-judgment is only making you dig a deeper hole into seclusion and little to no sexual contact with your man.
Your mind has officially hijacked your body and held sex for ransom. You want to have sex, but “can’t” have it because you’re too scared of what he will think about your body. How do you crawl out of this hole and start enjoying sex again? How can you stop avoiding sex every time he comes on to you. When will you stop worrying about your body and how it looks?
Are You Avoiding Sex?
You find yourself going to bed earlier or later than your partner so that you don’t have to face the possibility of his advances. Or you lay still in bed, pretending you’re asleep, so that he won’t touch you. It’s not that you don’t love him – your sex drive has taken a nosedive. Maybe it’s your hormones playing games with your sex drive or you’re constantly tired.
Whatever the reason, your relationship is strained and you can sense that your man is starting to question the affection you two have for each other. You have built a man moat, foiling the most adept swimmers from reaching the castle. Some of your observations may be true (you probably are fatigued) but they still keep you stuck in a place you’d rather not be. How can you start wanting him as much as he wants you? How can you put your relationship back on track by having pleasurable sex regularly instead of once in a blue moon?