Cute Text Messages To Send A Guy Or Girl.

Weʼre living in a textual world, and if you want to get anywhere with the people youʼre attracted to, youʼre going to have to learn how to make their pockets vibrate when you’re not there. There really are only a few hard and fast rules to texting a crush, a date, a hookup or gasp! A partner or spouse.


Sending Flirty Text Messages Rule #1:

Do Not Bore Them With An Open-Ended Text.

Text message flirting guysDon’t do this:

“Hey, what’s up?”

You will just get the obvious, socially programmed response of “Not much, how about you?” This is an interview question, and will bore the hell out of your crush. In fact, you may as well have texted:

“Would you mind coming up with something interesting to say because I’m so boring the plaster peels off the wall when I talk to it.”

Not only are you announcing that youʼve got the personality of a Kansas zip code, youʼre leaving him or her in the awkward situation of creating the value for a conversation you started. If you start a text thread donʼt ask for value; deliver it.

Flirting Messages Rule #2: Make Them Smile.

Be quirky, fun, observational. Now seriously, which text do you think would make your crush smile:

“Hi, how are you?”


“Okay, I texted you. What are your two other wishes?”

Remember, if you can make them laugh, you’re halfway up her leg. Or his wallet, depending on what you’re up to. :>0

Try Our 300+ Collection Of Hilarious Texts!

For guys AND girls.

Dazzle Your Crush By Pretending You Came Up With Them!

Hilarious. Sexy. Entertaining.No Cliches. No Lame Poems. For Every Romantic Situation.


It’s All In This Book!


    Funny, flirty texts are the best way to get guys to pursue you and create attraction. This guide will show you how to rock it!

    It’ll set you apart from the competition. The texting ideas in this book will make you look like a peacock among common poultry!


    This guide will help you accelerate the romantic and sexual tension so that it results in him BEGGING you to go out with him.


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300+ funny, pre-written flirty texts. Hand-picked by our team of writers & researchers. No clichés or pickup lines!

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Learn how to assume rapport, use call back humor and flirting techniques that only work on email.

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 . . .

Flirts SMS Tips.

One of the best ways to text someone you’re interested in is to reinforce the memory of an interaction. With wit. So, tease out an inside joke or some recollection of your conversation. Letʼs say you were both complaining about your jobs when you last talked. Your text should read something like this:

“I swear, my boss is so conceited he takes a bow when he hears thunder!”

Now, the truth is, it’s sometimes hard to come up with funny text messages. That’s why I wrote The Flirty Text Message Helper, an instant download PDF file that’s filled with 400 witty texts for clever people. It’s only $1 and it comes with FREE monthly updates so you’ll always have fresh, clever texts to send. Stop struggling to come up with witty text flirts. This funny, sometimes naughty but always engaging list of flirt texts will spark lots of ideas in you. Sometimes, all you need is a push and your creativity kicks in to gear.


$1! Comes with FREE monthly updates! Instantly downloads as a PDF file. No ereader or tablet necessary.

Shake up your love life!

The Golden Rule On Sending A Funny MSG: Keep It Short.

Length is the enemy of humor. If you want to make them smile, keep it short. In my 400-text collection, The Flirty Text Message Helper: Witty Texts For Clever People, I have loads of text messages you can use to put a smile on their face. At $1 it’s a steal. Grab it here. Plus, it downloads as a PDF file so you don’t need an eReader like Kindle or iPad. Let’s say you want to strike up a conversation. What do you say? Well, you turn to Page 14 of my collection (400 texts!), under the “Make Them Laugh” section and you pull out any number of gems like this one, which almost always makes guys laugh: “Made you look!”

How To Come With Flirty Texts To Send.

The job of a good flirt text is to build attraction, increase sexual tension and set the stage for a date. Or if you’re already in a relationship, keep the home fires burning. Let’s get the unsexy part out of the way: Grammar. Proper grammar is a turn-on to the intelligent. So, PROOFREAD. At least for the first few texts. You donʼt want to leave them with the impression that youʼre an illiterate who kant spill. If the person you like receives a misspelled flirt text from you, they’re not going to think it’s cute or that you pushed the wrong buttons by mistake. They’re going to think you’re stupid.

How To Make Flirty Messages Work: Assume Rapport.

Tease your crush in a familiar way—as if you already know them. It sets the tone for a casual and fun exchange. That means avoiding stiff or formal language. Like, “How are you?” My collection of 400 texts is practically “Flirting Viagra”– use a couple of the rapport-assuming text flirts in it and their love for you will rise to the occasion. And don’t forget, it comes with FREE monthly updates so you’ll always have fresh, up-to-date texts to send. how to text a man

$1! Downloads as a PDF file in 30 seconds. Comes with FREE monthly updates!

You’ve paid more for a glass of wine, biatch!

The Flirty Text Message Helper: Hilarious Text Messages For Every Romantic Situation.

This 400-text collection is categorized by 19 dating situations. Which one are you in?

1. You Don’t Know How Interested They Are So You Want To Start Slow

2. You Know They’re Interested So You Want To Be Flirty

3. You Want To Make Them Laugh

4. Cute Ways Of Saying Hello After Texting A Few Times

5. Cute Ways of Saying Goodbye

6. Clever Questions That Make You More Interesting For Asking.

7. You Want To Play Hard To Get (Cocky Funny)

8. “Unclogger” Texts: Getting Him Or Her To Text You Back

9. Clever Questions To Ask When You Don’t Know How To Start A New Thread

10. You Want To Be Seen As Fun & Wacky

11. You Want To Be Seen As A Partier

12. Teasing: Taking The Hot Girl Or Guy Down A Peg Or Two

13. Insults: Mowing Down The Hot Girl Or Guy

14. You Want To Step It Up To A Phone Call

15. Dirty Flirty: You’ve had sex

16. Filthy Dirty: Texts That Would Scare Your Mom

17. You’re falling in love

18. You screwed up

19. Fun Phrases

The Flirty Text Message Helper: Witty Texts For Clever People Comes With eReports Worth $10 For FREE.

Free Report #1 GUIDE TO WRITING IRRESISTIBLE TEXTS. Proven techniques to make a great first impression, build attraction and score a date. From getting him to respond quicker to getting him to say yes to a meet-up, this report is filled with can’t-miss tips.

Free Report #2 MONTHLY UPDATES Our team of writers and researchers write and discover original texts so you’ll always be kept up to date (via email).

Free Report #3 HOW TO COME UP WITH YOUR OWN ICEBREAKERS Templates for creating fun, personalized conversation starters. A great way to develop unique icebreakers that project intelligence, warmth and sensuality.

Free Report #4 COMPILATION OF GREATEST EMOTICONS Compilation of the most creative emoticons. Forget the over-used ones like: :>) Try new ones like: \^o^/ or even better, this table flipper: (╯°□°)╯ ︵ ┻━┻ how to text a man

400 pre-written texts. Copy. Paste. Send! $1

Buy it already! Ain’t nobody got time for dat!

Funny Things To Text

Here’s the problem a lot people have in knowing how to text: They get so nervous trying to think of the perfect thing to text that they –BRAIN FART– can’t think of anything at all. That’s where my collection of 400 texts, The Flirty Text Message Helper: Hilarious Text Messages For Clever People comes in handy. Just flip through the hundreds of witty texts and you’ll come up with something brilliant. It’s categorized by 19 different dating circumstances so you can zero in on the closest situation you’re in.

Let’s say you’re in a situation where it’s clear you both REALLY like each other. Just flip to the section called, “You Know They’re Interested So You Want To Be Explicitly Flirty” and you’ll see gems like this one:

You: STOP.
Likely reply: Stop what?
You: Stop thinking about me. See, you’re doing it…right now.

Isn’t that great? Wouldn’t you smile if you got a text like that? Grab my collection of 400 texts now and start making them smile. Remember, it comes with FREE monthly updates! Now, not everyone you meet is going to have the same level of interest you have. So, what if you’re in a situation where you really like them but they seem ambivalent? You can’t send a flirty text message because it’ll come off too strong. The answer? Engage them with a funny question. Like this one from my 400-text collection under the section, “They’re Ambivalent So Go Slow”:

“If you were a vampire who would you bite to survive?”


$1 Comes with FREE monthly updates and flirting reports worth ten dollars.

Is you is or is you ain’t my baby?!

The 400-text Flirty Text Message Helper is a collection of funny things to text that you can pull out at a moment’s notice when you don’t know what to text.

I have personally picked these texts (along with my team of researchers), ensuring that you don’t get any eye-rolling cliches or poems that make you look longingly at that box of rat poison. Get started with the $1 400-text collection here and you’ll get access to hundreds of funny, flirty texts when you can’t think of what to text a guy you like. And it comes with FREE monthly updates to keep everything fresh and new.

The Art Of Text Flirting.

Sometimes you just want to be naughty. There’s a certain feeling of power when you know how to turn on a guy or girl over text. In this case you have to strike a balance between humor and naughtiness. Too funny and you lose the erotic charge. Too direct and you sound like a bad video from

Knowing how to text dirty requires a careful balance between the two. In The Flirty Text Message Helper, you’ll find the perfect examples of how to dirty flirt text with a guy or girl. There are two sections filled with inventive naughty texts you can send:

1. “Dirty Flirty Texts To Send After You’ve Had Sex”
2. “Filthy Dirty: Texts That Would Scare Your Mom”

All of the flirt texts in these categories are both witty and naughty. Unfortunately, they’re not appropriate to list them here. To use them, just click here and get started. It’s only $1 and it comes with FREE monthly updates and FREE flirting eReports. Grab the $1 package here.


Risk-Free Trial!

If you’re not satisfied, for any reason simply send me an email at info@woodpeckermedia dot com and I will cheerfully refund your order, no questions asked.

What People Just Like You Think Of The
400-Text Collection, The Flirty Text Message Helper.

Now, before you plunk down cold, hard, cash, take a look at some of the feedback from our customers:

Hello Mike!
I’ve always thought of myself as a clever person so at first I was a little reticent about buying The Flirty Text Message Helper, cuz I thought, “What am i going to do, look something up every time I want to send funny sms messages?” But a funny thing happened on the way to reading your collection–your text messages sparked insanely good ideas in me. So thank you, not so much for your texts (haha) but the creative fire they lit in me. Cheers!

– Susan Amdahl, 25, Seattle

Hi Mike!
“At first, I thought this was only for men, but I was wrong. It’s perfect for women like me! You really ought to make that clearer. So glad I took a chance. I rarely start a text with a guy but I go through the same nervousness–I mean, how do you keep the conversation going, right? Well, your collection of flirt messages REALLY helped. If I ever run out of ideas I just crack open your collection and get some ideas. Thank you!”

–Lizbeth, 23 New York

Dear Mike,
“I’m one of those people who REALLY thinks about what he’s going to text, so your sms flirt collection is perfect for me. At first, I was afraid I was going to over-use them, but then your monthly updates kicked in and now it seems I never send out the same text twice.”

–Mike, 30, Chula Vista, CA

how to text a man

$1 Comes with FREE monthly updates! Downloads instantly. Start reading it right now!

Never Run Out Of Funny Text Messages To Send.

With FREE monthly updates by my team of writers and researchers, this 400+ collection of flirting sms texts is classified by 19 dating situations for fast access. You’ll know exactly what flirt messages to send. Plus, it comes with four free, kick-butt eReports.

We believe in quality over quantity. Only the wittiest texts get included in our growing database. Right now there are only 400 text flirts in the eBook. Why? Because we don’t include eye-rolling crap.

Stop struggling to come up with cute flirty texts. This funny, sometimes naughty but always engaging list of flirting sms texts will spark even more ideas in you. Sometimes, all you need is a push and you’re creativity kicks in to gear.


400 texts with FREE monthly updates! Downloads instantly. Start reading it right now! $1.

Need More Info? Check out our FAQ:

1. How do you decide which fun text messages go into the Flirty Text Message Helper?
We’re allergic to cliches, rhymes, poems and cheesy pickup lines. Therefore, we won’t include a text if it:
* Makes our eyes roll
* Evokes the sound of nails on a chalkboard
* Makes us long for a shot of insulin
* Reads like a passage from a flowery, Victorian novel

In Other Words, it must:

A. Make us smile or laugh
B. Make us want to know more about the person who sent it
C. Make us think, “Tonight just got more interesting!”

2. Where do you get your flirting texts from?
We write our own, scour the web and steal our best friends’ text messages. Then we actually test them on guys, girls, even trannies! If they fit the criteria (See #1) they get included.

3. How many cute flirty text messages are in the Flirty Text Message Helper collection?
We’ve hand-picked 400 texts across 19 dating situations. Our collection will grow every month through updates we send via email. Why not more? BECAUSE MOST TEXTS SUCK and our pride will not allow us to include sucky, douchy texts.

Can You Believe The Crap That’s Out There?

If you’ve looked online for ideas on funny flirty texts, you know the sheer volume will make you go cross-eyed. And the cheesiness will make you reach for the Rolaids.

Do you really have the time–or the stomach–to go through all those websites and pick out the gems? We do. Our team of writers and researchers either find or create the winning texts you’ll see in The Flirty Text Message Helper.

Why spend days online when you can get the best in a click of a button? (And get FREE monthly updates!). Get started with The 400-Text Flirty Text Message Helper collection here. It’s only $1 and it comes with free monthly updates and bonuses.


Hi, I’m Michael Alvear. I co-hosted HBO’s The Sex Inspectors with international best seller Tracey Cox. I blog for the Huffington Post and authored many sex, dating and relationship books including, Sex Inspectors Master Class: How To Have An Amazing Sex Life (based on the TV series), Men Are Pigs But We Love Bacon and Not Tonight Dear, I Feel Fat: How To Stop Worrying About Your Body & Have Great Sex.

But more importantly, I’m a guy who loves showing people how to text. I’ve shown thousands the art of the text tease and have seen first-hand how improving your texting can result in an astounding number of dates and relationships. I compiled The Flirty Text Message Helper: Witty Texts For Clever People out of my experiences on the TV show. I noticed that while people were ok texters, they often sent gushy cliches or the kind of lame phrases that made guys roll their eyes.

Take it from me–the way to your crush’s heart is through his funny bone. People LOVE people who can make them laugh. Look at any survey done on what peeps want and humor tops the chart (after a long list of physical attributes of course!). If he or she has your phone number they’re interested at some level. Don’t blow it with lame texts. Learn the art of sending cuter flirty text messages in a way that turns interest into a date. Try the techniques in my eBook and if you’re not happy with the results I will personally issue a refund. That’s my promise to you. Click here and start flirt texting!

All the best,


P.S. –The Flirty Text Message Helper is a collection of pre-written flirty texts you can send to the person you’re interested in. Written or hand-picked by our team of writers and researchers and classified by dating circumstance, you’ll never run out of clever things to say! We emphasize quality over quantity–only premium cute texts and flirty texts get included. At $1 it’s a steal.

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