1. You Smell Like Swamp Ass!
The way to her mouth is through her nose. So SHOWER. Try scents like musky vanillas, sandalwood, lavender.

2. Your Johnson Looks Like The Last Chicken At The Butcher Shop.
Trim yer pubes. Studies show women prefer groomed pubic hair. The cucumber always looks better rising out of a shaved salad!

3. She’s So Bored The Weather Channel Is Naming Hurricanes After Her Yawns.
She should feel the exhilarating feeling of having complete control of your masculinity as well as the experience of being “owned” by it.

4. You’re As Lively As A Kansas Zip Code.
Don’t just lay there. Stand, sit, put her in different positions. Movement creates energy that gives her different sensations.

5. You’re Not Thinking About Her Pleasure
Ask yourself, “What can I do that will turn her on more?” The more pleasure she gets the more pleasure she’ll deliver.

6. You’re As Quiet As A Prius
Talk dirty, grunt, moan, gasp, breathe heavier—flail like a deer trapped in a minivan. Your excitement will excite her and keep things moving.

7. You’re Not Looking In Her Eyes
Make eye contact so she feels connected to you. If you’re not in a position where you can do that, MOVE.