Is this you at the thought of a blowjob?

That’s because it’s always about him during the act, isn’t it? The pleasure, I mean. But what if it was about YOU? What if giving blowjobs were so sexually satisfying that you wanted to give them without being asked?

That’s tantamount to fiction for a lot of women who either don’t like giving blowjobs or are so ambivalent about it they could describe their desire in one word: “Whatevs.” But the truth is that it’s possible to like giving oral for your own satisfaction not just his. You just have to do something women don’t ordinarily think about during the act: Prioritizing your pleasure.

From Meh To Meow!

Turning an ambivalence toward blowjobs to a passion starts by asking yourself a few questions: What do I like about men? About maleness? About masculinity? Is it that you feel more feminine when you’re around it? That you feel more safe or desirable when you’re near your man (or other men)?

Once you get in touch with why you’re so attracted to masculinity it’s easy to transfer that appeal to Masculinity’s Main Representative: Dick. Or as one friend calls it, “Richard, because it’s long for Dick.” The penis is masculinity personified–it is strong, confident, insistent, and it must be said, without conscience.

But I digress. The point is that you’re never going to truly enjoy giving head until you fall in love with your partner’s penis. Not just the physical characteristics (size, shape, feel) but all that it represents to you emotionally and psychologically.

Falling In Love With An Erect Penis

Part of the appeal is the meaning you give to his erection. For one, it means he is REALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU. That’s one of the highest compliments a man can pay his woman (well, other than “where’d you get those shoes, they’re lovely!”). After all, men don’t get hard for women they find unattractive.

In other words, his erection is proof of your desirability. And if that’s not a turn-on, what is?

I’ll tell you what else is: Using his erection to experience submission AND domination. And that brings us to blowjobs and how you can get as much or nearly as much pleasure giving them as he does receiving them. See, instead of just thinking about what you can do to his penis you could think about what his penis can do for you. Like experiencing submission to his manhood. Or dominance over it.

Wait, dominance? How so? Because you get to control what he experiences through your mouth, tongue and hands. You want him to moan? Do this. You want him to sigh? Do that. Get it? YOU are in control of his pleasure. If that’s not dominance what is?

In my book, Blow Yourself Away: Turn Blowjobs Into A Mind-Blowing Experience For YOURSELF I quote a woman who articulates this experience beautifully:

“I love the sense of power that I have when I hold my man’s cock in my mouth or hands. At that moment and for the next hour or two…I am in control of what happens…and I am responsible for him having the most sensational, meaningful experience possible.”

Getting The Most Out Of Giving

Giving blowjobs so they sexually satisfy you is a three-step process: First, define masculinity appeal. Then fall in love or lust with your partner’s penis. Then ask not what you can do for it but what it can do for you.

Once you do that, you’ll turn a task into a turn-on. You’ll go from Meh to Meow! Because now it’s as much about you as it is about him.