How well do you know a man’s sexual plumbing? Now, I can already hear you saying, “But Sister Stepanowitz already taught me about male anatomy in junior high sex ed!”
Let’s pause and think about that for a second: it’s very likely that your knowledge of male sexual satisfaction came from an underpaid, sexually frustrated virgin while you were perfecting your zit-popping technique.
Most women overestimate their knowledge of male sexual anatomy just like men overestimate their knowledge of yours. If you want to give great head you’re going to need to know a lot more about the one-eyed trouser trout.
The only way to learn how to give a good blow job is to know how it works in the first place. So, let’s get started and make Sister Stepanowitz proud!
You Have A Penis, Too, You Know!
When actress Tallulah Bankhead was asked if 1950s heartthrob Tab Hunter was gay she replied, “I don’t know, darling, he’s never sucked my cock.” She was actually on to something.
For a comprehensive look at giving head, click here.
The most astounding thing about men and women is that despite how differently we look, our bodies are mirror images of each other. Males and females start out as identical blobs of tissue when the sperm enters the egg.
Even with ultrasound, you can’t tell the difference between male and female babies until the 15th week of pregnancy.
The same tissue that turns into ovaries in women turns into testicles for men. The same tissue that forms vaginal lips in women forms scrotal sacs in men. The same tissue that turns into a penis in men turns into a clitoris for women. In fact, both the penis and clitoris have a glans and a shaft and become engorged with blood when sexually stimulated. So much for penis envy.
So What Exactly Happens When He Gets Hard?
There are four stages of sexual arousal. Well, five, but we’re not counting the part where he rolls over, falls asleep and snores. Let’s take a look at each stage:
Arousal: How A Dangling Taco Turns Into A Raging Burrito.
For men, sex starts with seeing, thinking, touching, smelling or fantasizing about something or someone that turns them on. Like a gorgeous woman or a new BMW. Whatever. Extra blood starts pumping to key areas of the body—the penis, scrotum, genitals, lips, earlobes and other parts.
Men get an erection when the two large cylinders of spongy tissue in their penis fill with blood. A tough fibrous sheath covers these cylinders. When those cylinders fill up with blood they push against this sheath much the way pumping air into a tire pushes against the rubber walls.
This creates something strong enough to take a ride on. The muscles in the scrotum contract, moving the testicles upwards toward the pelvis.
Plateau: “Faster! Harder! Don’t Stop!”
In this stage, everything swells, lifts and darkens. Pleasure fluctuates with highs and lows but never ends. It’s perfectly natural for erections to wax and wane in the plateau stage.
For instance, he may lose his erection while going down on you even though he loves doing it. No worries. All it means is that giving oral sex doesn’t keep him hard. He’ll get it back. The plateau stage is where most of the manual, oral and penetrative sex happens.
Most people want to establish residency here because it just feels too good to leave.
Orgasm: Spectacula like Dracula!
As men advance from the plateau stage the pleasure peaks and they start gasping toward “ejaculatory inevitability” (the point where nothing is going to stop the orgasm—not even his mom walking in on him). Here’s what happens:
Everything starts to contract. His testicles ascend until they press against the wall of the pelvis. The prostate, seminal vesicles and vas deferens squeeze themselves silly, pouring their sperm and seminal fluid like bartenders who can’t keep up with the orders. The head of the penis becomes deep purple while the shaft increasingly stiffens.
Breathing, blood pressure and heartbeat increase as the total-body response to ejaculation takes over. Involuntary spasms in the legs, feet, toes, stomach, arms and back can take over. The pelvic muscles go through a series of rhythmic contractions, ejaculating semen through the urethra as a series of spurts.
And that, in a nutshell, is how every other thought men have during the day ends at night.
Resolution: The Fancy Word For Rolling Over And Snoring.
You know how everything contracts during orgasm? The opposite happens during the resolution phase. It’s as if your body got shot to the moon and now it’s gravity’s turn to teach you a lesson. The blood flows out of the penis and the scrotum descends.
Pulse, breathing and blood pressure rates return to normal. After climaxing, women can have another go at sex right away. Men can’t, because they go through a refractory period in which they can’t get erect. For some it’s a minute or two; for others a day or two.
For most, somewhere in between, depending on age and circumstances. At any rate, the tension released by orgasm feels exquisite to men. That’s why the first syllable in orgasm should be spelled “ohhh.”
Now, united you may have stood (or laid), but divided you shall fall: Women tend to be more alert after orgasm while men become somewhat catatonic. That’s because different things happen in their bodies.Oxytocin, the “cuddle chemical,” tends to flood women after sex, while men get drained of glycogen, a vital source
Oxytocin, the “cuddle chemical,” tends to flood women after sex, while men get drained of glycogen, a vital source for energy.And that’s why women want to bond after sex and men want to snore.
And that’s why women want to bond after sex and men want to snore.
In the next post, what makes a penis beautiful? The #1 thing women say will surprise you. In the meantime, get a little more detail in your anatomy lesson and meet your new BFF, the fraenulum.
If you missed the last post, read it here.