“When I was young I used to pray for a bike,” a girlfriend once told me. “Then I realized that God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.”
For some women, fantasies are like my girlfriend’s bike–you’re better off stealing than praying for them. If you truly can’t come up with your own fantasies there are plenty of places to steal a little creativity and call them your own.
Hooray For Hollywood.
Over the years, Tinsel Town has produced some of the most extraordinary sex scenes imaginable. This is better news than you think–studies have found that women’s testosterone levels increase after watching a romantic film and imagining themselves as the actress being wooed by the attractive man.
I’ve assembled my list of the top ten hottest sex scenes in modern movie history below. Imagine yourself as one of the characters and you’ll be swept away by the sheer force of the sexual currents.
Do you want some butter with that popcorn?
- ‘The Big Easy’ (1987)
- End of the Affair (1999)
- Mulholland Drive (2001)
- 9 1/2 Weeks
- Coming Home
- Henry and June (1990)
- Body Heat (1982)
- Unfaithful (2002)
- Y Tu Mamá También (2001)
- Don’t Look Now (1973)
If you want to get more juice out of a movie than simply inhabiting the characters, just ask yourself a few questions. “What would make this scene even hotter for me? What would I change? What would I add or subtract? Where else would I let Mickey Rourke squirt the honey?”
To Porn Or Not To Porn?
Women have a prickly relationship with porn. On the one hand, studies show that watching erotic films increase genital blood flow. On the other hand, they failed to show that they elevate testosterone.
In the first post, I mentioned studies proving that fantasies, unlike erotic films, increase the production of testosterone. Why would engaging a fantasy elevate more testosterone than watching porn? Studies suggest that psychological sexual arousal is necessary for testosterone levels to rise, explaining why women have such an ambivalent reaction to porn.
On the one hand, it is physiologically arousing–as evidenced by genital blood flow. But unless the film has specific elements that speak to women, it is rarely psychologically arousing–as evidenced by the lack of elevated testosterone.
Pick Your Porn.
Once, a rather conservative, religious friend of mine checked into a hotel and asked if the porn channel in his room was disabled. The clerk said, “No, it’s regular porn, you sick bastard.” You might be like my friend and find all porn offensive or you could be like the clerk and only find certain types that are out of bounds.
Either way, the research argues for using erotic films that are psychologically arousing to you. Be careful with the typical male bomp-chicka-wow-wow flicks. You may get physically excited because you’re witnessing skin-to-skin contact but are you psychologically aroused?
It’s unlikely that made-for-men porn will do the trick because it lacks so much of what typically arouses women: Intimacy, attractive men, appealing sex acts, sexual tension, domination and submission sex, interesting dialogue, foreplay, kissing, the list goes on.
And don’t even start with the women. From their nails to their hair to their makeup, the women in these videos seem as fake as a Thai Rolex.
Women-centered porn on the other hand, has everything that turns women on: Credible actors, emotion-infused sex, attentive men, authentic stories, genuine chemistry, BDSM, interesting locations and yes, real women’s orgasms. They also feature something you rarely see in men’s porn: Women with a wide variety of shapes, sizes.
To find the most current women-centered porn head to Good For Her, which produces an annual “Feminist porn awards show.” And for a comprehensive list for women-centered erotica visit Porn Movies For Women.
In the meantime, here’s my list of the must-see classics:
- Afrodite Superstar
- Trial Run
- Uniform Behavior
- Fashion Underground
- Edge Play
- Night Trips
- Paid Companions
If you liked this article, you’ll love our guide about domination and submission sex
In the next post, the rubber will meet the road (so to speak) as you bring your fantasies out of your head and into your real life. In the meantime, check out the 14 best sex toys to take your fantasy to the next level.
If you missed the last post, check it out here.