Pick Your Poison: Finding A Fantasy That Works For You

There are a million different types of fantasies, but like sexual positions, there are only a few basic ones.  The rest are variations guided by your own imagination.  Below are the sexual themes that women gravitate toward.sexual fantasy for women

  • Being “taken” or dominated
  • Being forced to have sex against your will or submission sex
  • Making love to an ex
  • Having sex with somebody you know but never dated
  • Incorporating romance into a sexual scene
  • Domination sex or having complete control over your partner
  • Being the aggressor
  • Sex with a male prostitute
  • Being a prostitute
  • Pretending to be another person–a celebrity, a model, a fictional character
  • Having sex in a public place
  • Doing it with more than one partner at a time (threesome, orgies, mate swapping)
  • Running the risk of getting caught
  • Having sex out in nature
  • Having sex with a virgin
  • Being a virgin
  • Remembering past love making
  • Pretending you’re a man
  • Having sex with another woman
  • Focusing on clothing, food or non-sexual body parts
  • Engaging in sexual positions or acts that you don’t normally do
  • Cross-dressing
  • Having sex with a deity or spiritual leader.
  • Having sex with a forbidden or inappropriate figure.

Fantasies For Body Conscious Women.

It’s common for body conscious women to fantasize themselves as the cover model of a Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition or an angel in a Victoria’s Secret catalog.  There’s nothing wrong with fantasizing about having the kind of body you always wanted, just make sure you play the part correctly.

Don’t just pretend you have a sex kitten’s face and body–pretend you have her mind-set.  What would she do in bed?  What would she say to your partner?  How would she act?  Make the fantasy complete.

Once, during a hot yoga class I had a hard time standing at attention between poses.  The room was warmed to 110 degrees.  The teacher noticed my droopy posture, and told me to throw back my shoulders, suck my stomach in and stand straighter.   “Act how you want to feel!” she commanded.

In just a few seconds, I felt stronger, more capable and ready for the next round.  If you’re going to fantasize about being Miss Thing then take my yoga instructor’s advice and “Act how you want to feel.”


Submission and Domination


By the way, you don’t have to tell your partner you’re fantasizing.  It’s fine to keep it to yourself.  In fact, one of the great appeals of a fantasy is that you don’t have to share it if you don’t want.  The secretiveness itself is what makes it special.

Cheating On Your Partner With Your Partner.

Fantasizing that you’re with another man is an extraordinarily common fantasy, which unfortunately can bring up a bit of worry and guilt.  Is it unfair or unethical to fantasize about another man while you’re making love to your partner?  Shouldn’t he be enough to turn you on? Are you violating his trust?

No.  It doesn’t  matter how you stoke your hunger as long as you eat at home.  Anything you can do to increase sexual satisfaction and response within the confines of your relationship is a good thing.

It’s like asking if vibrators are an indictment on your sex life.  Are you cheating on your partner if you use a rabbit?  Are you cheating on him because you need the type of stimulation a hand can’t provide?  It’s the same with fantasies.  Are you cheating on him because you need mental stimulation he can’t provide?


Our readers enjoyed:  Domination & Submission Sex Guide


Some women won’t let themselves indulge in fantasies about other men because they’re afraid they’ll get “addicted” to it.  That’s like avoiding sex toys because they might replace your partner.

Do not ever feel guilty about using things or ideas that draw you closer.  Fantasies, like sex toys, are not replacements; they’re add-ons.

In the next post, Hollywood lends a helping hand (or mouth). In the meantime, learn more about ditching your guilt over your fantasies.

If you missed the last post, check it out here.

By | 2017-03-14T21:46:59+00:00 January 15th, 2017|Sex Advice for Men, Sex Advice For Women|0 Comments

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