Turn On Your Mind and Your Body Will Follow

women sexual fantasyWhat exactly is a fantasy?  It’s your erotic imagination applied to people, places, and activities.  Fantasies can not only help libido increase for women, but also make you feel empowered, playful and excited.  They let you experience things you might never allow yourself in real life. Where else but in your fantasies can you invite a parade of strangers into your bedroom without breaking your wedding vows?

Where else can you sleep with your favorite movie star without your boyfriend knowing it?

Where else can you sleep with your favorite movie star without your boyfriend knowing it?

Where else can you have those two new guys at the gym making love to you without those two guys knowing about it?


Female Libido Booster


Many women don’t realize how much fun has disappeared from their love lives until they activate their imagination.  Fantasies are a female libido enhancer.

The great thing about fantasies is that you can’t get them wrong.    They can be as elaborate as a romance novel or as spare as a single image, a scene, a recollection of a look or a touch that’s especially meaningful to you.

How To Find Out What Your Fantasies Are.

“But wait!”  you might think, “I don’t have any fantasies and I don’t know how to get them.”  Just because you’re not fully conscious of sexual fantasies doesn’t mean you don’t have them.  You just haven’t been able to access them.  Most people start off by asking the wrong question.  It’s not, “What’s my fantasy?”  It’s, “What turns me on?” 

Use physicality as the entry point to your imagination, then keep asking yourself the next logical questions.  For example…

What turns me on?

Example:  Being seduced slowly with delicate kisses and powerful hands.

Who turns me on?

Example: a powerful, intellectual man respected for his acumen and the way other men defer to him.  If you draw a blank, ask yourself how you want to feel or how you want people to react to you in real life.  Do you want to be adored or hated?  Mistreated or worshiped?  Then ask what type of person epitomizes that feeling to you.

What’s the location?

Where do you want to do the things you say turn you on?  In the desert, on the beach, down the stairs?  On top of a car?  And ahem, exactly what would you do with the hood ornament?

Let me walk you through the type of questions you’d ask if your fantasy took place in a library.

 What are the details?

What does it look like?  What section do you want to do it in?  Reference?  Special Collections?  And hey, what about props or clothing?  What is your dream man wearing?  Something?  Nothing?  Prada?  What do you smell?  Musty books?  His aftershave?

Who else is involved?

The librarian?  Clark Kent?  The New York Jets’ defensive line-up?  Why are they there and what do they want to do to you?

What do you want to experience?

Dominance, submission, something in between?  Do you want to be opened up and searched like a reference book or smacked around by the Dewey Decimal system?  How do you want to be touched?  Roughly?  Softly?  Do you want to be undressed or do the undressing?  Be detailed.  The more questions you ask the deeper you can go in a fantasy, until you start discovering things you didn’t even know you wanted.


Women who liked this article also enjoyed Female Libido Booster.

In the next post, we’ll give you specifics about common fantasies – and the permission to use them. In the meantime, what do men most often fantasize about? (hint: it’s stuff you can probably do, so take notes!)

If you missed the last post, check it out here.

By | 2016-12-29T09:41:49+00:00 January 1st, 2017|Sex Advice for Men, Sex Advice For Women|0 Comments

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