I am regularly shocked when I see how couples treat their bedrooms. They are often so filled with obstacles and diversions it’s a wonder that any sex could be had. I’ve seen bedrooms so filled with clutter I could hardly make out the bed. They remind me of playing tennis with three chairs in the middle of the court. How are you supposed to hit the ball if there’s always something in the way?
Too many people use their bedroom as if it were a half-storage unit, half-entertainment center. The bedroom is for sleeping, relaxation and sex. Anything that doesn’t promote those three things needs to be moved out.
The energy in your bedroom has the potential to be a female libido enhancer. It can make the difference between putting you in the mood or locking you out of it. The point isn’t to make it feel like sex is seeping out of the walls; it’s to make your body feel relaxed, warm and receptive to pleasure. We spend more time in their bedroom than any other room in the house, yet it’s often the most neglected space in the house.
From lighting to fragrances, you can have a bedroom that entices your body from the minute you walk in. Here a few hints that can help libido increase for women and can dramatically transform your experience of sex, love and sleep. You know you’ve done a good job when you walk in and your body sighs with pleasure.
The lighting in the perfect bedroom should generally be soft and low wattage. Consider installing a dimmer switch for your overhead light, so you can change the mood of the room easily. Colored bulbs or low wattage bulb will help also.
If you like lamps in your bedroom, use 3-way light bulbs–that way you can read with the higher settings and set a mood with the lower ones. Experiment with lamps by putting them on the floor. The uplighting gives off a nice glow. Or put a dark towel on top of the lamps. It’ll soften the light and add a bit of color. If you’re feeling adventurous, mix things up with a strobe light–it can make your lovemaking look like a dream sequence.
Candles: The Universal Language Of Romance.
Fire invokes romance, passion and desire. It’s primal. Nobody’s mood stays the same when a candle gets lit. Earlier I said you need a flower budget. You need one for candles, too. Get out of the habit of thinking that lighting candles is for special occasions. Don’t just light them as a precursor to making love or because you’re enjoying a romantic dinner. Light them all the time for any sort of reason. Vary the sizes, colors and placement. Train yourself to create different moods.
Use lots of reds (stands for sexual attraction, passion and love) and whites (stand for personal power and romance). To symbolize a happy and close relationship, consider placing two candles close together. Mirrors can accentuate the lighting in your room. Enhance the glow of candles by placing them in front of or even on top of mirrors. On a side note, if you place a larger mirror on the wall opposite of a window, it will help reflect natural light and open the room up a bit.
The bedspread is probably the most important visual element in the bedroom because it takes up so much space. Don’t go overboard with flashy designs or strong colors. Go with muted colors. Think romantic oasis, not flashy nightclub or botanical garden.
Wood floors are beautiful but they’re not soft. If wall-to-wall carpeting isn’t feasible then buy a wool-silk rug–with candlelight it creates a beautiful, shimmering effect. Stepping onto a shag or sheepskin rug by the foot of the bed feels great whether you’re climbing into bed or getting out of it.
Windows & Walls.
Shut out the world with blackout curtains or a three-fold layered window treatment like wooden blinds and sheer curtains topped by floor-to-ceiling draperies. Generally speaking, the more fabric you put on walls and windows, the more soothing and sumptuous the room will be. Covering an entire wall with floor-to-ceiling drapes quiets the room in a provocative way.
Paint the walls a rich color and keep everything else in the room light and neutral. Choose body-flattering colors and avoid green or yellow. No one looks good in green reflection and yellow makes you look jaundiced. Not a good look for sex!
Women often make the mistake of over-pillowing the bed. While it may look good, it psychologically puts the bed off limits by taking up so much room. An over-pillowed bed sends a strong signal that the bed is a decorative prop rather than a place for communion. It is a subtle but unmistakeable “do not lay here” sign. All you need is two sham-size pillows placed against the headboard and two to four sleeping pillows.
You want the sexiest tactile experience, which you can only get with thread counts starting at 450 to 1,000. Keep the sheets as plain as possible–no distracting designs or embroideries. Silk and satin feel awesome against your skin but they do slide around and good luck getting the stains out. Try flannel sheets—they’re cuddly and warm. Or try mixing bedding textures, like silk sheets with a satin pillow and a flannel blanket. Mix linens up so you’re always experiencing something new and exciting.
Scenting your bedsheets is a great way to enhance a sexual ambiance. Try the following:
- Add several drops of your favorite aromatherapy oil to the softener section of your washing machine. Or put the drops in a small cotton handkerchief or washcloth and throw it in the dryer with your bed linens.
- Spray your sheets with a sheet scent spray, such as ‘Smooth as Velvet’.
- Pour a quarter-cup of scented bath salts in the final rinse cycle. Or throw a tied-up washcloth filled with salts in the dryer to tumble along with the bedsheets.
- Scent a washcloth or small piece of fabric with your favorite perfume or essential oil and and throw it into the dryer with the bedding.
- Dust some ‘Kama Sutra Honey Dust’ between your sheets. Honey dust absorbs perspiration and won’t get sticky like a lot of powders.
- Fill a spray bottle with water and add a few drops of your favorite essential oil and then spray it on your sheets.
The Bed Itself.
Add a romantic canopy or tent, even if you’re not sleeping in a four-poster bed. You can simply hang it from the ceiling with eye hooks.
If you have plain looking curtains, try spicing things up a bit by replacing them with billowy, lacy curtains. These look terrific and if you have a quiet, low-speed fan in the room, the curtains will sway back and forth, creating a billowy motion.
If you liked this article, you’ll love our guide, Libido Increase For Women.
Check out next week’s post: finding the on switch and where it might be hiding. In the meantime, get a few sexy design tips from the experts.
If you missed last week’s post, check it out here.