Low libido, a low level of desire for sex, even with someone you love, is more common than you think. There are many reasons for low libido—stress, hormones and for a growing number of women, body image.
For example, if you see sex as an opportunity to be shamed your body probably responds in three ways: It lowers your desire for sex, it decreases your ability to pick up and act on “erotic cues” (like that flutter in your stomach when you smell your partner’s cologne), and reduces pleasurable sensations when you actually do make love.
No matter what the reason for your low libido it’s a good bet you’re playing the Avoidance Game. You find yourself going to bed earlier or later than your partner so that you don’t have to face the possibility of his advances. Or you lay still in bed, pretending you’re asleep, so that he won’t touch you.
You start making excuses that sound reasonable: You’re too tired for sex, the kids will walk in on you, you have a lot on your mind. You become defensive. You tell him if he worked as hard as you did he wouldn’t want sex either. Besides, didn’t you just have sex a couple of nights ago? Whatever. He’s a sex maniac. He doesn’t want you, he just wants sex and you’re the closest person around. If he just appreciated you more for all the housework you do. Besides, he’s not even that good of a lover.
Low Libido Women
These are the kind of thoughts that low libido women use to form a man moat, foiling the most adept swimmers from reaching the castle. Some of your observations may be true (you probably are fatigued) but they still keep you stuck in a place you’d rather not be.
I’m going to help you get to a better place with specific recommendations borne out of the latest sex research. The days of wanting to want him are over. Welcome to wanting him as much as he wants you.
Featured: Our most popular article on low libido women.
Each week, we’ll look at ways to boost your libido and increase your pleasure. Stay tuned for next week’s topic, increasing your sensuality, in and out of the bedroom. In the meantime, find out where your libido may be hiding.