1. Keep your eyes on his. Some women get as nervous as a lost dog wandering outside a Korean meat packing plant when they’re talking to an attractive guy. So they start looking away, checking out the surroundings, grateful to rest their eyes on something other than him. Or they’re not nervous at all, but they want to play hard to get so they start checking out the crowd and disconnecting a little from the conversation. This has the unfortunate side effect of making guys think you’re not interested. That might work if the guy’s name is Bond, James Bond. But if he’s part of the 50% of men psychologists classify as shy, you’re in for a bail. He’ll back off or won’t ask for your number and you go home thinking WTF, we were hitting it off so well, why didn’t he close the deal?
Don’t play hard to get, especially with shy guys. They have an internal battle within themselves—half of them wants to jump your bones and the other half wants to run like hell because they’re too afraid of rejection. Eye contact can clear that up right away. You don’t have to drill holes in his head, just let your eyes linger on him, especially after the conversation takes a natural pause. That’s an unmistakable signal of interest, and believe me, he needs that signal to summon up his courage.
2. Get him to look in your eyes. It’s one thing to keep your eyes on his, but are his eyes on yours? Shy guys have a hard time with eye contact, even when they want you more than JFK wanted a car with a roof. There can be no emotional, physical or sexual bonding without eye contact so use the Align, Direct, and Reinforce method to make it happen. Align your eyes and mouth so there’s a direct line to him, and then reinforce eye contact with a smile. Once you’ve done that, get him to look into your eyes with a secret technique revealed by hidden camera body language studies: Use your hands to create a visual pathway.
Cameras show that romantically interested women unconsciously use their hands to create a gaze path to their eyes. Here are a few examples of how you can do it:
Bring your drink up to your mouth and pause before you sip.
Hiding half your face forces his gaze up. Eyes naturally seek out eyes. You’re just giving him a little nudge.
Lean your face into your hands with your index finger
pointing up. If you’re sitting, put your elbow on the table with the palm up.
Then lean your face into your hand, with your index finger pointing upward and
the rest of your fingers near your mouth. It’s a subtle way of pointing to your
Gesture near your eyes. When you’re telling a story, use lively hand
movements close to the height of your eyes. For instance, hold your hands
loosely, about chest level, with the bottom three fingers pointing back at yourself. It should feel familiar—you do it whenever you’re having a good time talking to people. Once you align and direct, don’t forget to reinforce. Every time you make eye contact, smile or laugh. Remember, your eyes can’t be the windows to your soul if he’s not looking at them.